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Being a senior, it’s often hard to think of the last time something was not beginning. A new test, a college application, a new email, etc. But I have recently been trying to teach myself that beginnings are not always troublesome; they happen for a reason. I was recently accepted to the college of my choice. I was attempting to create a password for my new account with them. I had so much trouble with it that I had to call the help desk. I was so entirely frustrated and ready to give up, but the girl on the other line was kind enough to set my password for me. It was a two minute phone call. So, you are asking why I am telling you this? Because it took me that long to figure out how lucky I am to be able to go to college. There I was, sitting on my nice couch, in my warm home, complaining to no end about something out of my control. I had to stop and think about my life this year. Have you ever counted how many times a day you complain about anything at all? For me, the number would be astronomical. I have decided to do more with my days as a senior than complain constantly about trivial things. I will complain about math tests for sure (that cannot be avoided), but I will try to focus on all of the beginnings that my senior year has brought to me. I can’t wait to graduate and start the next part of my education, but for now, I want to take each day as it comes. I want to focus on the opportunities that I receive and I want to learn to be more thankful for what I learn from this year. -Sarah Buckman, Editor-in-Chief

I –like so many others on this staff- am new to Élan this year. What sets my experience apart from others, however, is that my role, my small piece of this literary magazine puzzle, is as new as I am. After the first few days of class once meetings were held and staff positions decided on, we each were given a letter, a sort of welcome to your job/ this is how you do it kind of packet written by the amazing group of students who came before us. I was handed a packet not for my position as Web Editor, but one that was deemed “close.” I had mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I was excited to be trusted in fulfilling an unchartered editorial job, on the other hand, I felt a little like I was being pushed off of a dock before I knew how to swim. Over the course of these first weeks, before submissions come pouring in and we’re up to our knees in department events, I’ve mostly been learning and experimenting. Running a website, I’ve come to realize, is a lot of work, a lot of trial and error. Learning the system has been a very positive experience, thanks to the lovely and talented Taylor Austell. I now know how to maintain the great standards that already exist, and have developed things I’d like to change. I’m the kind of person who has to use the same pen until its ink runs dry, who organizes her closet not only by clothing type but color and shade as well. That being said, I jumped at the idea of enhancing our Blog. I created a rotating schedule, varied by position and grade, and decided that we should have monthly themes. September, of course, has been all about new beginnings and a fresh school year. I believe we have a website to be proud of, and our blog has great potential. It’s important that our audience not only sees the product of our labors, but can also read the product of our words. The Élan staff has plenty to say. Feel free to walk on this literary journey with us, not only by reading the gifted student work we publish, but by taking a look behind the scenes. Share our troubles and triumphs, laugh at our mistakes as we learn and grow, and maybe –hopefully- take a little something back with you. -Savannah Thanscheidt, Web Editor

Here is a throwback piece from Elan’s 1999 Spring Issue, by its then Editor-in-Chief Billy Merrell. Since graduating from Douglas Anderson, Merrell published his first book Talking in the Dark, a poetry memoir, with Scholastic in 2003. He also co-edited The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing About Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Other Identities for Knopf Books for Young Readers with David Levithan. It was released in 2006 and won the 2007 Lammy in the Children's/Young Adult category. Merrell has been a frequent guest writer at the bi-annual Douglas Anderson Writers' Festival. Quickening - Billy Merrell I felt it push inside the poetry I read it, but didn’t dream it, and now there… Oh! a push from the inside, and words are in me pregnant of language kicking with the verse and verbiage, but Oh! And I love that feeling being a father a mother giving life. They told me “It will come in time,” But when I dreamt it it was ugly the rain came angry and the process married only hours of cold sweat and in the end, a still born… but don’t worry, that was only a dream I am here still with a child inside me waiting to be born, I have found clothes, fitting prepared the nursery and now, am only waiting for the inspiration, the night and the child, unborn and breathing my breaths.

DA’s writing department flourishes a plethora of interesting relationships. We spend four years getting into small groups and dissecting each other’s personal writing. As each year progresses, said writing blossoms into embodiments of the writer. We learn to pull inspiration and authenticity from our actual lives. Then, we go to class and sit idly by while class members peer into a sliver of who we are. On the page this calls to be a highly intimate experience. Yet over these years, I’ve watched us all leave the writing classroom and hardly even share eye contact. On the page, it would seem that these people reading into my life would be the closest friends. Writers, though, don’t follow societal norms. We have to go against the grain. Instead, we writers associate in more subtle ways. We all walk around on campus as if a part of a secret society. As if we’re all too busy being the quiet observer in the corner -pooling ideas for the next short story- to acknowledge one another. Whenever I’d pass by a fellow writer, my lips would give a small smile accompanied by a quick head nod. This year, I’ve greatly stepped out of my comfort zone. Writing has taught me that nothing is learned if risks aren’t taken. Maybe it’s senior year blues, maybe nostalgia, but I’ve put in a lot more effort to form an actual relationship with these incredible people. Not a single trace of regret has surfaced since. In the coming months, we’ll all go our separate ways. Inevitability at its finest. But these unique perspectives that I’ve sat beside for the last four years aren’t about to leave. As I continue pursuing writing, I’ll always refer to my original, and most cherished critics. -Mariah Abshire, Editor- in- Chief

I’m seeing right down the barrel of InDesign already, even though adulthood is in my peripheral vision. With a new year comes a new focus, and I couldn’t be more excited about taking the sole leadership in Élan’s Layout and Design editorial position. I wouldn’t feel as ready as I do now to fight the computer’s quirks and glitches, without the life lessons I learned from my former lead editor, Emily Leitch. I’m waiting to receive a successor of my own to continue the lovely tradition of “layout lessons.” It’s the feature that brings this staff together over the painstaking, sophisticated masterpiece that is Élan. Last year, right at the final stage of the yearly print edition – the very last day of school – we lost our computer just as we hit save. It was probably the most tragic thing to ever happen all year. That computer was a real dinosaur, I’m sure you’ve seen one half its age at most. There’s no telling how much blood was shed from the nail biting minutes of anxious saving, how many tears fell from the disparity of a frozen screen, or the sweat drops that rolled down the furrowed ‘brow of the crazy-eyed perfectionist. That computer was the diabetic heartbeat of Élan for the first year of true continuity. It will be greatly missed. But this year, as I walk into the classroom empty handed, I am fully minded. I am going to do everything I know how to do to continue making our publication carry the inspirational individuality and professional beauty that our breathtaking art and writing are worthy of. I’m here to show the world that Élan is not just an impressive magazine made in the corner of a library after school, but a true representation of the merit brilliant teenage artists deserve. -Taylor Austell, Layout and Design Editor

The beginning of October can only mean two things: summer has ended and another year of school has begun. A new school year brings new classes, new people, and new experiences. I entered the Élan classroom on the first day knowing plenty of new things were in store. There were still holes from the 2013 Print Edition to fill, a website that needed updating, and students that needed new direction. The staff jumped in head first, knowing that we already knew how to swim. Staff members were assigned a focused job with specific tasks to complete before we were able to move forward with receiving submissions for our upcoming 2013 Winter Edition. My job you ask? I was assigned to organize all submissions. I was busy right away because all of the people we received work from outside of our school last year never got contacted (I feel it necessary to point out that we were not an international magazine before and we’re new the whole process. We sincerely apologize if you are one of those who didn’t get contacted for a few months). Then the staff made a decision that changed the dynamics of my job entirely: we wanted to allow submissions to be sent through email instead of just mail. I knew we would begin to get high traffic of submissions by email, and I couldn’t wait to see submissions come in from all over the world. While a fancy looking website and fabulous looking books are important, the writing is what truly makes the staff excited. We have already seen addresses from California, New York, Korea and many others and can’t wait to see more people from around the world submitting (see our submissions tab for all information on how to submit via email). I know all of the time I’ve spent organizing submissions will pay off when the Winter 2013 Edition launches on November 15th and we have connected writers from around the world. I can’t wait to see your submission by Friday, October 11th! --Makenzie Fields, Submissions Editor

While we have been taking a break from Blogging over the Holiday season, the Elan staff would like to share a few of our New Year's Resolutions with everyone. A new year brings with it new opportunities, new goals, and new writing to create and explore. What are some resolutions that you've made? My New Year's Resolution this year is to win the Batten Award Scholarship and not pay a single cent for college! -Mariah Abshire, Editor-in-Chief I don't know if this is weird, but this is my very first New Year's Resolution, which is fitting because 2015 will be a start of something completely new for me: college. In the year 2015, I want to 1) figure out my future, 2) hold off Senioritis for as long as I can, and 3) be ready for anything! -Shamiya Anderson, Creative Non-Fiction I want to maintain relationships with people from school after I graduate and continue to write poetry. -Taylor Austell, Layout and Design Editor I want to continue to write after I graduate, and I want to devote more time to studying (math especially)! -Sarah Buckman, Editor-in-Chief I have never been the person that made New Year's Resolutions but I have decided to try something new this year. In this upcoming year I have decided to be happy, find my Zen. I want to keep a positive outlook on life despite anything bad that may happen in this upcoming year. -Anna Dominguez, Junior Poetry Editor My New Year's Resolution this year is to write some bomb fiction next semester and meet Blake Griffin! -Madison George, Social Media Editor This coming year, I hope to expand my writing into more personal endeavors. I've been slacking, in terms of writing outside of school, and I think it's starting to take a toll on my overall enthusiasm for writing. I'm going to work on taking it back next year, and start to immerse myself in some writing that is really close to what I want to see coming from myself. -Ruvi Gonzalez, Junior Fiction Editor I've never really stuck to my New Year's Resolution but since this is my last year at home, why not stick to it? This year I'm going to get a job. -Grace Green, Poetry Editor It shouldn't take a set date to make changes for the better. A New Year is a new opportunity, but so is a new day; acting on a decision to change should happen at any moment, not just at the turn of the year. Ironically, my resolution is to keep that in mind. -Jordan Jacob, Junior Editor-in-Chief In the upcoming year of 2015 I hope to come to some sort of resolution in terms of what I want to do as a career in life. I will be a senior by next Autumn, and I really want to have a good grasp as to what I want to do later in life. - Briana Lopez, Junior Social Media Editor I don't normally do New Year's Resolutions because they typically get forgotten. Plus, why wait until a New Year to make a new you? But I think I'll play along this time. Next year, I'll be funnier and more responsible. There it is. I think it's ambiguous enough to follow. -Rey Mullennix, Fiction Editor Resolutions are embarrassing. My resolution when I was seven would probably have been to stop picking my nose. My resolution when I was nine would be to stop sleeping with a night light. My resolution this year is to stop eating so many Reese's. I eat them for breakfast sometimes, I eat them when I get home from school... It's a problem. Maybe I could start eating some cantaloupe or kiwi or something. Anything healthier would be an improvement. -Kat Roland, Art Editor I resolve to read more poetry books, care less about the Kardashians, and most importantly, to feel how I feel and do what I want instead of letting other people's expectations be in charge of my actions and thoughts. -Savannah Thanscheidt, Web Editor This year I want to have more spontaneous moments. Being a senior and having less than a year before I run off toward another adventure I want to not worry about stuff and have more genuine moments of fun. -Chrissy Thelemann, Submissions Editor I do not have a resolution for 2015. I don’t think people should focus on changing because a new year is coming up and everyone is buying into the “New Year, New You” perspective, but people should instead focus on change because they are striving for personal growth. I think making plans are good for yourself on a yearly basis, but for myself personally, I’m still trying to make good on the ones I promised years ago. -Stephanie Thompson, Marketing Editor

This year the Élan staff has a lot to be thankful for. We are thankful for our wonderful staff, our lovely supervisor Mrs. Melanson, our Winter 2013 book, and of course our readers. This is what we are most thankful for this year: Emily Cramer (Editor-in-Chief): For Cormac McCarthy, who showed me that it’s okay to break the rules. Sarah Buckman (Junior Editor-in-Chief): For Creative Writing seniors! Emily Leitch (Layout and Design Editor): For Paul Legault for inspiring me to be the poet that I am today. Taylor Austell (Junior Layout and Design Editor): For the teachers and the staff that allow me to grow into the person that I am today. Kiera Nelson (Fiction Editor): For women like Nikki Giovanni, Maya Angelou, and Alice Walker who inspire me to be the best combination of a writer/womanist that I can be. Zoe DeWitt (Fiction Editor): For Tom Hiddleston reciting poetry, especially Shakespeare’s sonnets. Raegen Carpenter (Poetry Editor): For Rachel McKibbens, who proved to me that you can be both a witty, tattooed goddess, and a poet. Brittanie Demps (Poetry Editor): For the culture and atmosphere of Douglas Anderson. It’s given me the chance to grow into the person that I want to be and to express my passion in writing. Mariah Abshire (Junior Poetry Editor): For the Creative Writing department as a whole and all the opportunities the teachers and staff expose me to. Emily Jackson (Nonfiction Editor): For the creative writing department that has supported me and my writing for these past four years. Shamiya Anderson (Junior Nonfiction Editor): For being in a department that thrives and helps me grow as a writer. Haley Hitzing (Social Media Editor): For Yusef Komunyakaa for making me fall in love with poetry. Madison George (Junior Social Media Editor): For an amazing Élan staff to work with. Makenzie Fields (Submissions Editor): For the Dodge Poetry Festival for opening my eyes to the wonderful world of poetry. Stephanie Thompson (Public Relations and Marketing): For John and Hank Green.

The first semester of my senior year has just finished. I will never have another first day of high school, I will never be scared of my school's mascot -a hideous puffin- at orientation, or be forced to take another Douglas Anderson-style mid-term again. I will also never have another poetry class with Mrs. Melanson, never hear "So, my children..." with a flourish of her hand as she explains just how synesthesia reflects on life as a whole. It's bittersweet. I've just started Senior Fiction, it is day three and I'm already waiting to see my prose grow the way my poetry did in the semester prior. Writing story starts, reading flash fiction- it feels weird. So far, what I've realized is that the most interesting part to every beginning, is the ending it leaves behind. I first realized just how true this was when I began "Casual Vacancy," by J.K. Rowling. The story starts when a man dies, and the entire town learns about his death. They feel things about it, their lives are changed by it and new things happen to them through it. The end of a man's life became the beginning for so many other things. After this realization, I started thinking about other stories I'd read, other myths and parables I'd been taught. Adam and Eve begin life on Earth after their lives as angels end; monarchies are squished to bring forth republics, if Hester Prynne is going to raise her child, her good reputation and even her infatuation with the baby's father has to be over. Sometimes good endings lead to bad beginnings, and sometimes it takes a little tragedy to bring the dawn in. I've often thought about being a history teacher after school, and with that idea in mind, it's really hard for me to "leave the past in the past." We, of course, shouldn't hold onto the past, we should grow from where we've come. But at the same time, as we start a new year, a new semester or job or relationship or short story, I think it's important to reflect on where we -or the character's we're writing about- have come from. It's important to know how all of the things that are constantly ending, relate with what's to come. -Savannah Thanscheidt, Web Editor

For me, senior year is a list of count downs: counting down to my eighteenth birthday, to college deadlines and shining most teasingly away, of course, counting down to graduation. In this current world of projects and deadlines, of feeling my toes creep towards the finish line, I can’t help but still feel sentimental towards a few things. Tonight, the Douglas Anderson Writing Department is hosting its annual Coffee House. It’s known for the unique collaboration opportunity between all arts areas and its determination to showcase original, student created work. It will be my last as an official member of the school. The beautiful thing about Coffee House is that not only does the show change every year, both in writing and style, but the way that you as a person experience it changes as well. My freshman and sophomore years were marked as a performer, not of my own pieces but of other people’s. I stood backstage, eavesdropping on masterful writers practicing, borrowed someone’s giant, sweaty gray shirt for a prop. I sat on the floor between acts, trying to remember lines that weren’t mine and watching local directors spit out instructions. I don’t remember anything from my Junior Coffee House, regrettably. I may have been on the bleachers, or at a table, sitting by one friend or another. The only thing I cared about was that the One-Girl-I-Hated wasn’t preforming, and that the pieces were taking me places I didn’t want –but needed- to go. This year, things have changed again. As a member of the Elan staff, I am behind the scenes. I have sold tickets, painted doors, been pushed past my comfort level again and again to help make Coffee House happen. The entire production feels more meaningful than ever before, not just because of the glare of senior nostalgia, but because I now appreciate every single aspect of the process. Some things stay the same, of course. There will be a theme (this year it is doors and keys), teachers will be thanked and coffee will be served. Due to the construction on our building, we’re going back to my middle school for the show. It feels a little like driving to an old neighborhood and vaguely recollecting checking that yellow mailbox, or drawing on that old porch. In a way, it hints at an even earlier tradition. Next year, if I’m in town, I see myself coming back to watch Coffee House happen. It’ll probably feel foreign, a little like trying on a t-shirt half a size too small, it also could feel like a crop top that suddenly fits just right. That’s the thing about tradition, it lets you hold on to the best feeling of things, and create new experiences as you go along. -Savannah Thanscheidt, Web Editor If you’re interested in attending, this event will be held at LaVilla School of the Arts from 7-9pm. Tickets will be 7 dollars.

Welcome back! A new school year has begun at Douglas Anderson, and with it a new year of Élan. Our magazine went through countless changes last year, most notably our move to two online editions, as well as a print compilation. It was challenging but incredibly rewarding. This year our new staff is eager to begin. Élan will continue to be an outlet for creative and talented young artists and writers, as it has been for twenty-seven years now. We strive to be a cutting edge magazine, continuing to change and develop our brand. We uphold strict submission guidelines that ensure all pieces in the magazine are at the highest caliber. Thank you for embarking on this journey with us. We look forward to the adventures we are sure to have this year. --Emily Cramer, Élan Editor-in-Chief

I will never forget the day I was accepted into Douglas Anderson as a freshman, a fresh teenager, a creative writer. I expected to learn about imagery or symbolism or whatever colleges were looking for at that point, but didn’t anticipate how important a community can be towards honing my writing skills. The experience that I have gained as a result is nothing short of invaluable. Class activities were surrounded by group critiques and group discussions. When my submission was accepted into Élan, I was offered a glimpse into the inner workings of the magazine, and the staff who critiqued my piece to help it get to the place it needed to be. I saw a force that was indestructible: teamwork at its finest. This, I thought. This is what I want to have. And so the years have offered me such as I have wanted. If I need help with a piece due the next morning, I can text a classmate and they will offer me points for revision. If I need help with a piece I have written on my own time, I come to the same group. And, with my entry into the Élan staff, I have found the community of editors to be all I desired and more. There is always help offered, and there is always a person at your side who understands. It is a horrible feeling, to think of a future where I do not have the connections I possess now in terms of accessing writers who can help me further my work, and vice versa. Consulting writers is the foundation of how I write; I need unbiased judgement on the pieces I’ve drafted five times. I need fresh eyes on the pieces I don’t know how to finish. Community has changed the ways I write for the better; community is essential to writing. After all, how would Élan have begun if not for such a strong foundation of writers? -Logan Monds, Junior Social Media & Marketing Editor