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I’ve never been good at keeping things short and sweet. As a person who rambles in their writing, who takes a long time to say what they need to say, I deeply appreciate poets who master brevity. I immediately felt this admiration towards Gwyneth Atkinson after reading “Sleepwalking” in our Fall 2018 edition. Her piece has inspired me tremendously. From a structural perspective, the poem is only comprised of twelve lines--each line no longer than ten words in length. Yet the content of the piece is so intimate and emotionally charged that the word count becomes irrelevant. In fact, it is strengthened by the fact that it takes up so few words on the page. My favorite line is the poem’s first line: “I woke up this morning having dreamt of my mother.” There is so much implication! We don’t have to be explicitly told whether the dream was bad, or whether the dream was good. Or what even happened in the dream at all. We, as readers, can just tell that it was haunting enough to wake her up. And the rest of the poem parallels this structure of implying and not telling so beautifully…it greatly matches the piece. For me, writing about my mother falls into a steady rhythm of sameness. I write about the same couple of events, the same couple of feelings, draw the same conclusions in the end. Reading this poem was a realization for me. You don’t have to tell the reader everything! In fact, Gwyneth says the word “maybe” three times in her piece. When writing a poem, you, the poet, don’t even have to know what you’re writing about! Allow the reader space to read, to think about what you’re saying…you don’t have to force-feed a message. I’ve been trying to find other lines of the poem to quote, but I find myself wanting to excerpt the entire latter half: “Maybe, last night I crossed fields/ Of black grass and cow shit to step/ Into her room, to sit with her, my eyes moving/ Under my eyelids like animals./ Maybe she woke up having dreamt of me.” There is so much longing here. I was left thinking about my own mother: how parts of me still want to be with her, and how much I wish she wanted to be with me. This is the haunting “Sleepwalking” embodies. We don’t know the speaker’s relationship with her mother. We know she is hurt. Her words sound like the most private confession; an almost guilty admittance. It doesn’t take a ton of words to be honest-- it takes guts. In this piece, we know what the deepest and most subconscious part of she wants. And that is truly the most meaningful thing I can ask of a poet. - Olivia Meiller, Junior Editor in Chief

(Photo credit to artist: Anasha Barnes) I’m hoping to gain a lot of experience from Elan, especially since it requires a lot from a person (in a good way) and is such a big part of both Douglas Anderson and the Creative Writing department. Experience is the key to what allows people to grow and shape into who they are meant to be. I’m hoping to gain at least a little bit of that from Elan because high-school is the prime time to be growing as a person and I know Elan will help me with sharing my thoughts and leading when I need to. Being a confident leader has been a huge struggle of mine for a while. I know Elan will change that. My position is Junior Digital Media Editor and the biggest thing I’m looking forward to is learning how to grow and expand in the digital world. I’ve never really been a big person to use media as a way to connect to others, so it’ll be very interesting to see how being a part of the Digital Media team will teach me that. Another thing I’m definitely excited about with being on the Digital Media team is having a huge part in how Elan is seen as a whole. That sounds like a huge responsibility, but for me it’s also fun. As someone who runs two of the media pages, I get to choose the art and what to say. I was very hesitant about taking this job at first because I was like, “Really? Is this for me?” Now I’m beginning to get used to everything I have to do it and not stress as much about what I’m doing. The main thing that motivated me to join Elan was new experience. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll always put myself out there and do things I don’t feel comfortable with, and being on Elan, I believe, will challenge that. I’ve always had great experiences in Creative Writing, but I also needed something that would be a long-term challenge. Even though I said I’m feeling better right now with what I am doing, not everything is going to be like that all the time. I realize that sometimes it’s going to get stressful or I might be put on the spot for something and I’m willing to accept that because of the experience it will give me. I see Elan helping me grow a lot. I’ve never really been a person who shares my ideas that much or someone who feel comfortable with leading all the time. I’m always very quiet and shy about sharing my thoughts and feelings. To be on Elan you do have to share sometimes so not everything is building up and you go into a spiral of things you don’t want to do. Being a part of Elan is giving me that chance to grow as a person and fill that role of being comfortable with my ideas and sharing them. - Catriona Keel, Junior Digital Media Editor

When deciding whether or not I wanted to be a part of Elan I truly took into consideration what I could bring to the publication. For the last five years, I have been writing constantly for my assignments in my creative writing classes. It’s hard to remember a time when I wasn’t in a writing program. It’s become such a normal part of my life and I thought I would continue with the classes I have been taking these past few years. My expectations were I would gradually continue my way through my creative writing courses, adding to the knowledge I already have until I graduate, to possibly take more creative writing courses in college.  And I certainly have been, but Elan brought something different to the table. Elan gives me a space where I am able to interact with other people’s work, which is extremely beneficial to me. When reading Elan all the work is so professional and well put together, I knew I wanted to be a part of that. To be able to collect all this work from my peers and students internationally and compile it into something that I will be able to keep forever is such a special opportunity. It was something I couldn’t pass up. I knew I had to try to play a role in this publication. Throughout my time going to an arts middle school and high school, I have always found myself drawn to fiction. It’s something that has always come naturally to me: the ability to create a well-rounded story. Fiction is what I grew up with and found myself forming a liking to through elementary school. Writing has stayed present in my life mostly through fiction, so I knew that being the Fiction editor would be a good position for me. I only began writing creative nonfiction in my first year at Douglas Anderson, so in the long run it is fairly knew to me, and I found myself having trouble with it. It was like I had made a barrier between how much I can reveal and how much I can keep to myself. Fiction gave me an opportunity to hide behind a character. Last year, when I began reading more creative nonfiction my appreciation for it grew but I still found myself unable to truly reveal moments of my life in a convincing and relatable way. This is why I think being the creative nonfiction editor for Elan can help me. Reading more creative nonfiction that people like me have written will give me an opportunity to strengthen my skills with the genre. Since I do not have a class that I am writing or reading creative nonfiction in this year, I think this is a good opportunity for me to continue to learn more about it and try to improve my ability to write it. My position in Elan comes with something I am comfortable with: fiction, and something I am uncomfortable with: creative nonfiction. I believe that through my time in Elan I will be able to come to understand both better, and hopefully improve my own. - Anna Howse, Junior Fiction/CNF Editor

One of the biggest treasures given to me by being on the Elan staff is a complete submission of the art community in my own city. Outside the walls on an art school, where often times it feels like I’m being smothered by teachers telling me the importance of art, Elan has shown me the community it directly aids. I’m no longer a student in a school for creative writing, taking classes to deepen my craft. I’m an artist whose work and dedication is folded into a binding book. Elan has drawn me out of the comfort zone of my school and placed me in middle schools advocating for literature and art galleries presenting amazing art to people who want to see it. I look at local artists differently, at Jacksonville differently, and myself different. Invaluable as precious stones, Elan has demonstrated to me the absolute need I have for art and the need the world has for it too. Unlike a math or even an English class, the skills I’ve gained in Elan have shown me more about myself than anything else. For example, I can become a leader but I can also be a supported and follower. The many, many, many ups and downs we have had a staff (sometimes we can’t always work as solely friends) has enabled us to meet a professional level of respect. I don’t feel like my voice is snuffed out, and it empowers me just as much when I see my friends succeeded in Elan too. Often times we forget that compromise sometimes can only be reached during discussion, and I think the Elan staff has grown in professional ways along with compassionate ways. We’ve been able to brainstorm together, compile resources together, and create beautiful events (and obviously a beautiful book!) together. When my time comes to walk away from Elan and let a new year continue without me, I hope to have gained a deeper involvement in my community. I want the artists at my school to be recognized and for the books we produce in Elan to be stretched all over Jacksonville. I hope to gain more knowledge on how to engage with our audiences, to understand the mechanics of marketing a product people in this day and age don’t seem to notice much, and to develop a bigger voice for young artists than the four walls of the Elan room. We already know our voice is loud and our material is powerful, we just need to get it out there. Along with all the regular responsibilities us Elan staff members have, the seniors have gained junior counterparts to be there for the entire process this year. Last year, some editorial roles had juniors – like the Layout and Design Editor and the Editor in Chief – but this year I, Fiction and Creative Nonfiction Editor, have my own! She’s already proven herself to me that she wants this position to grow just as much as I do, and that she’s ready to take our important editorial role by the horn. I want this mentorship to be a place for her to examine what I do and how I do it so she can soon fire back with her own understandings of the role. I can already tell she’s strong-minded and dedicated, and I’m aware that she won’t need as much help as I would’ve wanted desperately last year when I was a lone editor. It’s going to be a learning process for both of us, me learning how to actually be a mentor to someone and Anna learning to become an editor, but I have no doubt she’ll be successful and give great points and ideas to each discussion as she’s already beginning to do. I plan to never leave her in the dust confused, and I expect her involvement will be just as important as mine in each project we tackle together! - Valerie Busto, Senior Fiction/CNF Editor

My name is Reece Braswell, and I am the Junior Art Editor on the Elan staff at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts. It is here where Kathryn (the Senior Art Editor) and I reach out to art schools here in the United States and even in other countries to get submissions from young visual artists who want their creative voices to be heard. When I first heard about Elan and its thirty-year legacy, I knew instantly I wanted to be a part of its message regarding the view of artists in today’s society. Then I saw the visual art in Elan’s most recent edition and I thought, “How do I get that job?” And sure enough, now it is! In my position as the Junior Art Editor, it is my responsibility to choose pieces of visual art from students that best connect to the writing that gets accepted. This further brings out the creativity in both art forms, and makes Elan visually-appealing. I am really excited about this position because I connect to visual art as much as I do with writing; to combine them is going to be awesome! I also can’t wait for the learning experience I am going to get out of all of this; to be in such a professional publication at my age is going to equip me with skills I know I’m going to take with me into the working world, like team-work, communication, and organization. As our world continues to move forward, we risk becoming distant from each other and disregarding other’s experiences. Art brings out universality by showing another’s view on life through the lens of their own experience; with art, we bridge that gap between the ones around us by bringing out what is the most personal. If we constantly move through our society without seeing what is wrong or what we take for granted, we become ignorant. That is why Elan is so important; we must keep art alive, and encourage future generations to be proud of their art. Everyone connects to art in some way, be it roaming through an art gallery, reading a good book, or even going to see a concert. Creativity is a gate-way to our humanity, our flaws, our differences. This is a student-driven literature magazine; it is organized by students, and we only accept student submissions. Before being on the Elan staff, I myself submitted numerous writing pieces to this magazine, hoping they would be published; and a few were! The amount of pride I had as a writer and an artist in those moments of receiving those emails is an indescribable feeling. Our goal on the Elan staff is to kindle what can be done to the future of art; to show writers and visual artists that there is a place for their voice, their expression, no matter how chaotic the world is. I often wonder if society and our views towards each other would be different if we all embraced art as a necessity; if we would connect to each other by just opening up to the idea of understanding. - Reece Braswell, Junior Art Editor

Entering my second year as the art editor for Elan, I realize I have learned a lot in my experiences thus far. As a writer, I have been exposed to so many different forms of creativity, opening my eyes to the many individuals who express themselves through their art and the ways in which they do. The expansion of my experiences with art has given me many methods and ideas to work with in my own writing. As a person, I have learned to be more open minded in facing everyday tasks and more responsible for my actions, as what I do or fail to do in Elan can reflect directly into the production of any book or event. I also learned to be more organized in general. I can quickly find ways to make tasks more effective in their methods of execution. Teamwork has been the most useful skill I have acquired overall, however. I have learned how to reach compromises in disagreements and how to rely on others while they rely on me. In the future, I believe Elan will allow me to become a fully developed leader. Whether I join another literary magazine staff or a debate club, I feel that I will be able to possess a sense of responsibility and leadership that others may not have had experience with yet. What I hope to further gain from this experience is the ability to push. I find that my personality does not allow me to take the place of a more dominant figure that can take charge in any situation. I can lead those who may not know where to go, but I am not yet certain on my ability to take charge of a situation that requires I reach out to people who may not want my input, no matter whether or not it is needed. I would like to change that this year, as the ability to assert insightful dominance into a situation is a skill that I can use in any area of my life to increase the ease in which objectives are accomplished. Seeing as I am a senior this year, I also have a junior art editor that I am mentoring to fit my role next year. So far, we have gone over the basics of the position and I believe she already knows a lot about all the participation the position calls for. However, I’d also like to guide her to learn as much as I have in Elan as an artist and an individual. Over the course of the year, I want to teach her how to take leadership of the role on her own and how to confidently make the right decisions in the movement of the magazine. In addition, I can only hope that the exposure to new art that Elan poses will also inspire her to  create all kinds of new things that she might not have ever been able to consider otherwise. - Kathryn Wallis, Senior Art Editor

Elan has always been somewhat of an aspiration for me. The first time I heard about the magazine was at a booster meeting my mom had dragged me along to my freshman year. It had only been a few weeks into school and I was still feeling nervous and unsure of where I’d fit in. Douglas Anderson, though exciting and compelling, was still a place I didn’t feel comfortable with. I wanted to find somewhere I could stand out, or at least something I could strive for. I had an ambitious desire and nowhere to fuel it. When I expressed these feelings to one of my teachers, she told me I belonged on the Elan staff. I was told that if I continued to work hard into my junior year, I’d fit in perfectly with the publication. As my freshman year went on, I became aware of just how special this magazine was. I purchased one of the print editions at an event and read it cover to cover within a few days. I was amazed at the level of depth my peers were able to reach and how important it was that they were able to be represented in such a professional manner. I continued to devour the books as they came out every year and only felt more pride seeing the names of my friends and eventually myself printed on the pages. Though classes became harder and my writing life became more of a challenge, the goal of Elan was always on the forefront of my mind. I looked up to the upperclassmen on the staff and tried my best to maintain a solid work ethic. When I was accepted onto the publication this year, I was relieved and terrified. It was the result I’d worked so hard to achieve, but I was immediately skeptical. I wondered if there would actually be a place for me on this staff. The more I learned about the positions and roles, the more I felt like none of them suited me. When our faculty advisor suggested the role of junior layout and design editor to me, I was surprised. I had no experience with design or the program used to create the magazine. I felt like the most unqualified person for the job. After a week in my position however, my doubt turned into excitement. Learning the obligations of my role, going on creative poster endeavors, and getting to know the finnicky yet endearing software program has been much more enjoyable than I ever could have expected. This year I hope to learn life skills I wouldn’t be able to without this opportunity. In this class I will be able to put myself into an environment similar to what I will experience as an adult in the workplace. I am looking forward to figuring out what applications my natural aptitudes and talents have in a creative and rigorous atmosphere like Elan. - Shelby Woods, Junior Layout and Design Editor

As I enter my second year on the Élan staff, I’m both proud of what we’ve accomplished so far and eager to see what we have the chance to do this year. Élan has given me the chance to work with my classmates to make a real impact. I love writing a lot, but it can be a very insular practice. It’s easy to forget about your writing community. As a staff member, however, I am always surrounded by fellow student writers. I get the chance to read new writing from talented students. I’m able to help plan events which showcase writing and art from young people. These things help my writing immensely—I’m always inspired by reading submissions—but they also help me as a person. Working with my fellow staff members has really shown me how much we can accomplish together. Last year, we put on a homecoming dance and Coffeehouse, an event in the fall where student perform original works of writing and other artistic forms. We also put on a beautiful gallery in Yellow House, a local venue, and featured a lot of important voices. At the beginning of last year, I never would’ve expected to be a part of any of those things, but Élan gave me opportunities I didn’t even know I wanted. This year, as a senior, I’m excited to work with and guide the juniors as they discover what Élan has to offer. Everyone has fresh and interesting ideas, and I know that Élan is going to grow a lot in the upcoming year. I’m excited to train my junior counterpart and share ideas about what we want the book to look like and be. It’s always exciting to get a new pair of eyes. Although I’m not exactly sure what I want to do when I grow older, I know that the skills I’m gaining on the Élan staff are going to help me. Aside from the technical skills I’ve gained as Layout and Design Editor, I’ve also learned so much about how much goes on behind the scenes of a publication like this. In my first few years of high school, I read literary magazines, but before being on the staff of one I never could’ve guessed how much effort went into the creation/ There are a lot of elements that have to be tied together to come out with a cohesive product. I’m leaning towards working somewhere in the publishing or media industries, so it’s been amazing to have an experience like this in high school. Many of my skills from Élan will help me no matter where I go in life. I’ve learned how to work with a variety of different people to accomplish a common goal. I’ve learned how to manage and plan large events. I’ve learned how to keep an eye out for exceptional art and writing, wherever it may be. While I am graduating this year, Élan will always be important to me. -Meredith Abdelnour, Senior Layout and Design Editor

This is my first year on the Élan staff, and I have a confession: when I first came to DA, I had no idea what Élan was. When I cracked the spine on my first copy of Élan, I remember only flipping through to a few of the pieces. I would later comb through the book cover to cover to look at each excerpt, poem, or art piece, but when I first opened the book, I didn’t really know what the significance of it was. In all honesty, I had never been exposed to literary magazines before DA, much less submitted to one. As I became immersed in the culture of DA, surrounded by likeminded writers, I gradually learned what an honor it was to have one’s work selected for a literary magazine. It took me a few months to fully digest my first issue of Élan. The next issue took me a few weeks. The most recent issue, I consumed in a few days. Each time I flipped the page, I was transported to a new emotional landscape, a new world of grief and supreme joy, love and heartbreak, ideas familiar and alien. I submitted my own work, and was thrilled to receive confirmation. I had never considered my pieces as worth being shared with the world, and Élan showed me that all those hours looking at a blank word document was worth it. I wanted to learn how the book was made. More than that, I wanted to watch it happen. I wanted to see everything that went into it: the students who submitted to it, the students who fastened it together, the art that bound it all together. If possible, I even wanted to see the paper being inked and printed, the cover being laminated, the pages being stitched into a perfect-bound book the size of a lunchbox. As junior year came around and I was given the opportunity to be involved in creating the book, I knew I wanted in. This year, I am so happy to be the junior managing editor of Élan. I’ll be in the thick of it all, my fingers in many pies, so to speak. I can’t say I’m not a little intimidated. With the fear, however, comes a bubbly excitement. I want to leave my mark on Élan. I want to bring new voices from around the world to the page, voices that might not have any other outlet. I know I can’t do this alone, which is why I am similarly excited to be on a team of individuals with immense creative and organizational power. Even so early into my role, I can feel that the state of the book is not the only thing that will change this year. I’m more than a little out of my element; frankly, I’ve never taken a leadership position of such scale before. I don’t see myself as a leader, but I’m willing to rise to the challenge. I am ready to oil the machine, to get dirty, to learn. Going into this year, I was not the same person as I was sophomore year, and the image of myself as a freshman awkwardly sitting at the corner of the class is unrecognizable. This experience will force me to grow as a writer, as a student, and most of all, as a person. I’m ready. - Noland Blain, Junior Managing Editor

I think there came a point in my time at Douglas Anderson where I began to question a lot who I was. Part of it was the typical teenage questioning of trying to find out who I was and who I was becoming and who I wanted to become, but the other part of me was questioning who I was as a writer and what it meant to be a writer and if I was even valid in calling myself a writer. It is hard to imagine being able to claim a part of your identity when you are on the cups of everything changing in your life. Coming into Elan I couldn’t imagine begin a part of something as solidifying as being a part of a literary magazine. It was like a token to me being able to say I am a writer. Maybe if I was a part of something bigger than I could truly be able to call myself a writer and not feel guilty about it. There was an odd sense of guilt because I felt that since I had trouble being even to claim the writer part of myself. How could I be a part of something that other writers go to? As I went through my first year on the staff, I had to adjust. I had to adjust to being able to call myself a writer because that is what I am. It will always be a part of me in some way, shape, or form. There is no way for me to try and hide that aspect of myself and I have tried. I through myself into Calculus class and physics and swore that I was never going to study writing ever again. It was denial in its purest form. I am afraid of losing the part of me that found solace in writing when I go to college. Elan allowed me to feel the power that my own words can have and the power that other people’s words also have. I had forgotten the weigh that words hold. I want to be able to carry with me the need to spread the love for writing that manifested itself in me through my time spent on the Elan staff. I think that’s what I want to give my junior, too. As managing editor, I spend an ample amount of time reaching out to other schools and students to encourage people to submit to Elan. It is tedious, but I enjoy sending out the emails because receiving an email from someone in China submitting to our literary magazine. It sounds horribly stupid that sending emails can be something that I enjoy, but I am also the person that says she enjoys math and will rant about derivatives when given the chance. It has been difficult for me to call myself a writer because there is so much I don’t know about myself and am still learning about myself. I thought that all I could be was only a writer and nothing else because of the way I see the world in such black and white terms. I didn’t realize that I can be a writer and someone who majors in math and someone who enjoys sending emails. - Winnie Blay, Senior Managing Editor

As an underclassman creative writer, my knowledge of Élan was very limited. Not because I wasn’t interested, or that the publication was doing a poor job advertising, but rather, it’s hard to understand anything about the magazine until you’ve really experienced it. (I say that like I’ve been through the publication process already… it’s mid-September and I’m just learning where to put the submission folders.) But, honestly, if someone tried to explain the responsibility and time that Élan requires, or the overall professionalism and sincerity in which everything is planned and executed, I don’t think I would’ve really understood. And even one month into school, I can see how life-changing this group of people, this class, this publication…this slice of my life will be. Writing is obviously something I am passionate about. The magazine’s collaborative efforts with visual arts is also something I love. From a distance, I guess anyone that appreciates art would love to join our staff. But the thing that drew me in specifically was, as cliché as it sounds, the mission. I remember reading it over and over sophomore year: “to elevate and celebrate teen writers and artists.” Elevate is different from showcase. To give a part of yourself to this magazine as a means of heightening others. And I love this concept of teamwork, as well as the effort we put in all year turning into something I can keep on my bookshelf forever. As junior editor-in-chief, I’m very excited to work under Lexey (senior editor-in-chief) and learn all that I possibly can. I’m excited about making a calendar and getting organized for this school year, getting the Fall online edition up and rolling, and generally taking on leadership responsibilities…being pushed out of my comfort zone. I feel like Élan will help me develop an entirely new set of communication skills. Over the next two years, this class will give me opportunities to engage within a publication like any other. It’ll honestly be like my dream job in my “adult world” in the years to come, only I get to trial-run within our DA community. Poetry is something I will never stop talking about. And way before reading the mission statement—way before knowing what Élan was—poetry has been my main (if not, singular) inspiration for attending Douglas Anderson. To be on a magazine with such beautiful and vulnerable pieces, made by students, comes with a sort of gratefulness I can’t express in words. Reading any edition of Élan inspires me beyond belief. I know when I am fifty years old, no matter what my life has amounted to, I will remember this publication like family. I will learn, I will help others, and I will appreciate writing more than ever before. - Olivia Meiller, Junior Editor in Chief

Over the past year I have gotten the chance to work on Elan Literary magazine as a staff member. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer, however being on the Elan staff has given me the ability to be a part of something bigger than just writing. Rather than sitting in my room writing endless poems for class, Elan allows me to be a part of an actual community, where I can hopefully get others more involved in the writing world. As a magazine, we really strive towards giving writers a voice, and for me that has always been an amazing thing to be a part of, because unlike in previous years when it could often feel like my writing was just stuck in an endless void with no purpose, now I can see that change happen in real life. For instance, I remember hosting and creating Yellow House, our gallery  show that was open to the public and showcased a lot of the student-produced artwork that was in that year’s book. Being able to be a part of that, see the work come to life on the gallery walls, and see others enjoy it was an amazing experience and made me realize that this was something I wanted to continue doing throughout my life. I’ve always felt a little torn when it came to writing because I knew writing was something I loved but I wasn’t sure what to apply it to. Sure, I could write short stories or novels, but I really felt myself wanting to do something more and going to Yellow House, along with just being a part of the staff, made me realize the other practical applications writing has in the real world. I realized that in the future I would really love to work on a magazine staff for a literary magazine of some sort because putting together a work of art for other people to enjoy is something that truly excites me. Another very exciting part of Elan, which I hope to learn from, is the mentorship opportunities it gives me. Although I have never had very strong mentorship roles in the past, Elan has given me the chance to help guide someone else to be a part of the staff as well. As the Editor in Chief, my job definitely has a range of tasks tied to it, but for my counterpart, I just hope to share not only the job itself, but the opportunities she has to impact the writing community as a whole. Overall, this year in Elan I just hope to gain a better understanding of my role, and I hope I can have an even bigger impact on reaching out to writers internationally. I really would love to show others our capabilities as a magazine and as a staff. I cannot wait to begin the year and make a difference for writers everywhere! - Lexey Wilson,  Editor in Chief